So your dear sweet husband is out of town on a business trip and the local Home School organization you belong to has planned to take a field trip to the local museum. This will be the maiden voyage of taking everyone with you. All 6 kids ranging in age from 9-2. Most of your friends and colleagues think you are crazy for home schooling anyway, but Super Home Educating Mom never gives up.
The first task to solve, where are the shoes?
As super home educating mom you think “perhaps for school someday we can organize the shoes” a fleeting passing thought but a good one none the less.
So 60 minutes later you finally find the last shoe and have it put on the cute tiny little foot the house is destroyed and the sofa in the living room no longer has the cushions on it as they were made into a fort as you threw them off trying to find the shoe. Of course you didn’t find it very funny when your 7 year old walks up and says “here it is mommy it was in the oven.” What the heck was the shoe doing in the oven?
As a mother of 6 kids sometimes its better no to ask because they might tell you.
So now your traveling time has been cut down to half of what it should be. So you speed but only a little, and as your trying to explain that to the Police officer your nine year old pipes up “I tried to tell her to slow down, the speed limit sign says 100 I don’t know why she didn’t listen to me”
So by the time you get there the Home School group you were supposed to be with has already entered the building and you have to wait in line with everybody else before you can catch up to your group. Of course it’s the last day of the Egypt exhibit before it moves on and everybody is in line waiting to get in.
You finally get to the front of the line explain yourself and are able to move on and catch up with your group. It is a beautiful display, gold everywhere, hieroglyphs for the kids to try and decipher, artifacts in glass cases. Your children are asking questions and you are so proud of them. Being the super home educating mom that you are you can’t stop singing Walk Like An Egyptian.
That’s when IT happens. You smell something funny coming from the double stroller, and you realize that in your haste to get out of the house you forgot the diaper bag. You can visualize it hanging on the door handle so you wouldn’t forget it. Everything is in that bag, Wipes, diapers, lunch. You are only half way through the exhibit, and pray that only you can smell it.
The odd looks from other people are starting. You even hear another kid ask his mom “Whats that smell? Did the Egyptians smell like that?”
Then you hear the crash. While you were trying to look nonchalant because you forgot the diaper bag and a nuclear explosion happened in your 2 years old toddlers diaper, you realize the other 4 got away from you. As you turn to look you are thinking “please don’t let it be my kid, please don’t let it be my kid…” But there she is, your 7 year old who must touch everything, standing in a pile of broken pottery. Pottery by the way, that has survived thousands of years underground away from the world, but can not withstand a half hour with your kids.
As you, your 6 kids and SUV stroller are being escorted out of the museum you just can’t help humming the tune to the song “I am what I am” By Gloria Gaynor.