“There is nothing left to you at this moment but to have a good laugh.” – Zen Master
We all want to instill in our kids the morals of right and wrong. We all want them to grow up choosing the right.
So one of the ways to help us facilitate us as mothers is to take them to church. I believe this is a paradox. We as mothers want our kids to be good well rounded adults but nothing will bring homicidal tendencies in a mother more then trying to get any amount of kids under the age of 12 to sit and be quiet for more then an hour.
First we sleep late because we stayed up late watching Hoarders to feel better about ourselves. You look around your house and think “Yeah I am not that bad I only have 2 cats…”
So Church starts in 30 minutes and children are fighting in the living room. Begin Panic Mode……
One of the odd and crazy universal truths is that when you sleep in on Sunday mornings and are running late no one will have any clean underwear. Its weird I know.
So we slap peanut butter on bread or just give them a piece of plain bread, throw something on them that resembles a clean Sunday outfit, and as we run out to the car hope beyond hope that their shoes match.
(have I ever mentioned I only live 3 blocks from my church? )
You enter the building as they are singing the opening hymn and the only pew available is the one at the very front of the chapel so everyone turns to look at you as you walk in to sit down.
As you sit and start to relax you notice peanut butter on faces and 2 heads of hair you forgot to brush. Thankfully this also happened last week so you remembered to bring wipes and a brush. See what thinking ahead will get you.
Ahh then it happens, you want to listen to the sermons, but the fights start. “He has the blue crayon and won’t share it!” “Her bag of super sugary cereal has more marshmallows then mine!” you hush them at first with a smile on your face, thinking “oh lovely children” then the fake smile thinking “how can I get them to be quiet so I can listen?”, then the fakest smile of all that all kids know means if I push any further I may not live to see tomorrow.
So to stop the fighting you take all things away from them. “Sit with nothing then” you think.
Then they sigh…..try to lie down……wiggle…..sit to close to a sibling…….
You look at the clock and only 15 minutes has past.
Whoever said Sunday is a day of rest must have been a Father.